Chapter Twenty-Two

1998 0 0

Outside Chinook, Library of the Manor, Mid October

 

     Annik couldn't believe that she was going to tell Niculai about her past. As a rule she didn't share anything with anyone, ever. Naturally reticent, the way Annik had been raised just reinforced the tendency. So speaking about her past was almost unthinkable.Even if the person she was talking to was someone she desperately wanted to talk to. Wanted to learn everything about. and if that meant that she talked about her past and the book? So be it.

    Letting someone, anyone know anything about the book? Went against anything her mother had ever taught her. It was almost anathema to her. Her mother had always said to never, ever let anyone know about the book. It had seemed so natural to talk to Nic though. So easy, that once she'd started, she'd just kept going. Which was something that Annik refused to even think of much less acknowledge.

    The fact that Nic is the most gorgeous thing that she'd ever seen had nothing to do with it. Absolutely nothing at all. I'm having a very hard time not staring at him, Annik thought to herself. Talk about eye candy, this guy is ridiculously good looking. Stop it, Annik told herself firmly. Next thing you know you'll be drooling over the man. Enough is enough, pay attention to what he's saying instead of how soft and kissable his lips look. Cursing at herself Annik focused on what Nic was saying.

    Just minutes ago a tall, thin man, at least when compared to Niculai, had entered with her mothers book. Nic had introduced him as Mikal and told her if she needed anything at all during her stay here, this was they guy to talk to. Mikal had been dressed right out of central casting for classical butlers garb. His gentle face was guileless, almost innocent. He looked like a cross between everyone's favorite uncle and a happy puppy. However there was a keen intelligence behind those eyes that belied the innocent puppy that he showed the world.

    Mikal had bowed to Niculai and then to Annik before he had handed her mothers book over to her. As Nic asked her about the book Annik had started to wonder, again, if the tales her mother had told her were true. After all the guy who had tried to grab her had smelled like he had come straight out of her mothers stories. But then she'd told herself to get a grip and stop being crazy. Of course the stories weren't real, but part of her wasn't so sure. Not with how those guys had smelled and how Nic kept side stepping her questions about it.

    Of course, deflection might be because she looked as crazy as she felt. Maybe he figured that if he ignored all of that then she'd get a grip. Great impression she was giving this guy. She looked like a crazy person to the hottest guy she'd ever seen. The things in her mother's tales didn't happen in real life. They only happened in books or movies. The stories were far too scary for T.V not that she was very up to date on T.V. shows. They had rarely owned one after all. Hell, she had only recently convinced her mother to allow her to get a burner phone. Her mother had always feared that someone could trace them with it.

        Annik handed Niculai the book when he asked her to. She just hoped that she hid how uncomfortable she was with handing it over. Nic's reaction when she handed it over to him reassured her though. He would never allow her mother's most prized possession to come to harm if he could help it. Something that made her like him even more. Not that she needed more reasons. She had too many of them as it was. Maybe the problem was because she kept staring at him.

    "You love books don't you." It wasn't a question so much that it was a statement of fact.

    Annik knew from the faint blush, the almost awe at handling the old beat up book that crossed Niculai's face that he was a book lover, just like her. And that faint blush was just too cute. And hey it wasn't a question about her situation. Which could only be good at this point.

    With a small laugh Annik added, "You know the answer is all over your face, right?" when Nic's blush deepened Annik Laughed again. "What your siblings aren't book lovers?"

    "Actually," Nic said, also laughing. "They love books  as well. But according to them I take the trait to a whole new and apparently psychotic level." Nic laughed again and shook his head. "In fact, I regularly get accused of loving reading and books more than my job."

    Annik nodded,"I know what you mean. I'd rather read more than just about anything."

    Annik didn't add that the only thing that she'd rather do more than read was be with her mother. For a moment the mood was broken, Annik felt tears threaten to fall. Nope not having that again. Not in front of someone else at least. Especially not someone like Nic. There would be time enough to cry when she was alone. For the first time in her life Annik felt like she might have a friend. She'd never had one before so she wasn't sure if what she felt was real. It felt real but how would she know. Annik was truly tired of being alone. All of her life she'd only ever had her mother. And now that connection was gone forever. She desperately wanted, needed a connection with someone. Part of her really hoped and prayed that her connection with Nic was more than just friends.  The rest of her however was terrified. Definitely time to change tracks Annik thought.

    "Can you read this?"Nic asked indicating the book in his lap.

     "I wish I could but I can't. My mother never taught me. She always said she would when I was old enough but she never did."

    Annik shook her head and wondered to herself how old was old enough. She was almost twenty-five years old for gods sake. Even if she only looked to be in her mid teens. It wasn't her fault that she didn't look anything like her age. Jesus! Annik's thought was cut off when Nic spoke. He asked the question that almost everyone asked.

    "How old are you? I can guess that you are at least eighteen. Not even the Foundry would hire someone underage after all." The look on Nic's face was calm acceptance. It was obvious that he wasn't going to be upset no matter what she said. She could have told him any age from thirteen to thirty and he wouldn't care.

    "I'm twenty-five. Or at least I will be soon," Annik raised a hand to stop him from speaking when he looked like he was about to. "And yes, I know I don't look my age."

    Annik fell silent. Not looking at Nic. Her hands were tangled together in her lap and all she could do was watch them wring together. Well, she thought, defensive much? Annik was totally annoyed with herself. First she almost bites his head off for asking a question, then she almost cries at him then she's all defensive about her age. Could this night get any worse.

    "I'm sorry," Annik said in a small voice. "People just never believe me when I tel them my age."

    Nic nodded his understanding, "No need to apologize. I know more than a few people that don't look their age."

    Nic paused for a second, placed a hand on the book while asking. "Do you happen to know where or how your mother got this book? Did she ever say?"

    Nic looked patiently expectant. Like he was ready for anything she might say. From her knowing everything about the book to her knowing nothing at all and anything in between. Annik knew nothing about the book or where her mother had gotten it from. Annik had absolutely no information about where or when her mother had gotten the book so there was no reason to lie. The fact that she was a very bad liar made telling the truth the best option anyhow. 

    Although she doubted that she would have lied to Nic even to protect her mother. So maybe it was a good thing that her mother had never told her anything. Annik didn't know why the thought of lying to Nic felt wrong to her. Rather like putting a shoe on the wrong foot. And why did he look relieved when she'd said she couldn't read the writing. Could he read it? Annik wondered. probably, she decided. He clearly speaks the same language she did.

      "I have no idea where she got the book from. All I know is that she refused to tell me until I was older." Annik paused, embarrassed that her mother hadn't considered her an adult. Even though she was nearly twenty-five. Afraid that on some level Nic would think the same. She wanted him to see her as adult, as a woman. Not as a child.

    Every time she looked at Nic, Annik felt a warming that she had never felt before. The sensations were confusing and frightening but also exciting. Like a roller coaster or riding a galloping horse. Not that she had ever done the later and only once or twice the former. Damn if she was going to run away from them, or him. Annik felt safe with Niculai and not just because he had saved her from being abducted. There was something about him that made her think that he would never hurt her. Or allow her to be hurt if he could help it. She felt safer than she ever had, even with her mother. Which was whacked. How could a stranger make her feel safer than her mother had. Of course her mother was always concerned about discovery. Annik had a feeling that Nic wasn't worried about much at all, especially about safety.

    "Can you read it?" Annik asked, firmly scolding herself about getting lost in Nic, again.

    Annik wasn't sure if she hoped that he could or couldn't read the book. If Nic could then he could teach her. If he couldn't then she would have to worry about an ulterior reason for her rescue. Tough call. On the whole though Annik decided that she hoped that he could read it and she'd worry about any implications later, Learning to read the book would give her another thing that she shared with her mother. There were so many things that her mother would never see, would never share with her that Annik wanted to learn it, if she could.

    Nic didn't move, didn't speak. As far as Annik could tell he barely breathed. It was as if he was afraid to answer. Just moments ago Annik had decided that there was no situation where the hard man in front of her would be afraid. No, he looks more like he is going to cause the fear, not being afraid himself. Annik knew she wasn't afraid of him and that he would never harm her. Why would he think he was going to make her afraid. What could he possibly say that would make her fear him. Okay, there were a couple of things that could do that but somehow she didn't think Nic was going to do any of those. Maybe he was afraid that his answer would hurt her. Yeah Okay, she could see him fearing that. but damn if she knew what kind of answer would hurt her.

    Nic swallowed hard, refusing to meet her eyes all of a sudden. "I do know how to read this. In fact it's the language that I grew up speaking."

    Nic stopped speaking, obviously waiting for her response. What The Fuck Annik thought. He grew up speaking this language. That had so not been the answer she was expecting. And for some reason as Annik stared at Nic, he seemed even more nervous, not less. What the hell is going on here. Why would he get more nervous about her knowing that he had learned the same language as a child that her mother had. What was he going to say he was her long lost brother or something. While it would be upsetting, learning something like that wouldn't frighten her. All Nic did was watch her warily, like she was about to bolt or something. Clearly she was going to have to ask him more questions and hope that he answered them.

     "You grew up speaking the same language that's in this book?" She waited for his nod of conformation before continuing. "I," her voice broke suddenly choked up.

    She might be able to get answers to a lot of questions here. If they grew up with the same language then he would know what country her mother was from. They were probably from the same country, they spoke the same language after all. His accent was almost the same as her mother's had been, although her mother had worked hard to hide her accent. Answers about the where and when might be right in front of her.

    Then Annik had another thought, these might be the people her mother was running from. Had she handed herself to the very people her mother had so feared since before she was born. But why would he rescue her if he was an enemy. All Nic has done is try and care for her. Annik just knew that he would never hurt her, and she had to trust someone at sometime. Annik decided to go with the feeling of safety not of fear.

    "My mother told me that she wasn't born in the states and that she wasn't exactly here legally," Annik paused keeping an eye on Nic to gauge his reaction. When he only nodded she continued, "I also know that she was adopted because her parents died right after her birth. I don't know what country she was born in but she was adopted there. She came here with her adoptive parents when she was a toddler."

    A fierce look flashed across Nic's face when she mentioned her mothers adoption. One that vanished so fast that Annik wasn't sure that she'd actually seen it. Before he had appeared interested but not overly concerned. Much as anyone who liked the person who was speaking about a potentially painful topic would look. But for a second that intense look had been there, she knew it. As if something she had said had been extremely important. Annik wondered if she should continue and when Nic merely waited patiently she did so. After all in for a penny, in for a pound. Or in this case in for part of a story, in for the whole damn thing.

     "I know I told you about my mom being on the run and that I think it was from my father," Annik waited for Nic's nod of agreement. "Well that is about all I know about both of my parents. Or at least of my father. I mean, I know my mom on the day to day stuff. But she never really told me anything about her past other than being born in another country and that she was adopted. Beyond that I don't know anything." Annik held her hands up when she said the last, all what can I do.

    Nic seemed to contemplate what she had just said. Or at least that was how Annik interpreted the look on his face. Nic had become almost impossible for her to read and considering she didn't really know him it wasn't easy to read him to begin with. A mask had fallen over his features though. Blanking out what had been a pleasant almost happy look. After the fleeting glimpse of that sharp look Annik was starting to wonder what the heck was going on here.

    "Did I say something that upset you?" Annik asked hoping that she hadn't. Although she had no clue what it was if she had.

    After what seemed hours but was probably only seconds, Nic seemed to come to a decision. "You didn't do or say anything wrong or upsetting. You just surprised me is all." Nic took a deep breath and then another before continuing. "I have some things to tell you. Things that will be hard for you to believe. But I'm not sure how to tell you is all."

    Damn Annik thought, he looks downright nervous. And I know I just met him but he really doesn't strike me as the nervous type. So whatever it is that he's planning on telling me he either thinks I won't like it or that I won't be able to handle it. What the hell could it be Annik thought to herself. She could feel her exasperation building the longer he was silent. This is getting ridiculous Annik decided when the silence continued to stretch on.

    "What!" Annik almost snapped. "Just tell me. It can't be that bad."

    When Nic still didn't speak Annik was done. Her day had been too long as it was. Waiting for this, admittedly handsome, guy to say whatever it was he wanted to tell her was too much. Annik gently moved the cat off of her lap and started to rise.

    "Tell you what, I'll just go. You can drive...."

    Annik's voice drifted off as soon as she saw the look on Nic's face. As soon as she had said the word go Nic had jacked forward with his hands out. A look of almost terror had replaced the mask. He doesn't want me to go Annik thought. The thought warming her like she was sitting in a sunbeam. Annik didn't stop to think about how all of that made her feel. She just responded to his desire without thinking.

    "I'll stay," Annik said. concerned that if she didn't he was going to pull a scanners and have his head explode.

    The relief on Nic's face at her words was as wonderful has her realization that he didn't want her to leave. Annik had thought that she would never be wanted by anyone again now that her mother was dead. That relief was shut down by Nic's next words.

    "You wouldn't be safe away from here."

    Nic exploded out of his chair as soon as he spoke, pacing around the room. Oh, right Annik thought dejectedly as she watched him pace around the library like a caged tiger. His powerful body leashed, but only barely. His face was a mask again but not his eyes. His eyes were anguished, full of pain. Like he was struggling with himself over something. He had said he didn't think she was going to believe him but come on. How bad could it be. As much as Annik liked watching him move. And didn't that make her feel like she should wash mind out with soap. There was something vaguely disturbing the why of the pacing. Annik couldn't exactly say why but it was.

    Annik was wondering how long this pacing was going to continue, when Nic stopped in front of the fire. Standing with his back to her, facing the flames, Nic stood there for the longest time. suddenly Nic spun to face her before coming over to stand next to Annik. Reaching down he took her hand. Catching her eye Nic held it while he spoke.

    "I want you to listen to what I say. I know it's going to be hard for you to believe but you have to listen. You have to listen because it's a matter of life or death. Your life or death."

    Squeezing her hand before dropping it, Nic stalked back to stare at the fire again. For the longest time Nic just stood there, unmoving, a statue. Annik wanted to scream at him to just tell her already. The tension was giving her a headache for gods sake. After what seemed to be hours or maybe days but was probably just minutes Annik gave up on waiting for him to speak, again.

    "Just say it," Annik said tiredly. "Whatever it is. Just say it and I'll deal.

    He's going to tell me he's married. No wait, that he's my brother. No I know what it'll be. He's gonna say he's gay. Of course that's it. The only guys that look at me are the pervs after all. So either he's gay or he thinks I might be his sister or some such. And even if I did look like a woman instead of a teenager, men don't want virgins that are so sheltered they might as well have grown up in a cave. For all that I've been working at bars since I was eighteen, I'm still an innocent as far as sex goes. 

    "I'm sorry, what did you say?" She had been so caught up in her own head that she missed what he had been saying.

    Nic looked at her for a second then moved back to the chair he'd been sitting in. Seating himself, he looked resigned as if he had a task to do that he would rather not do but had no choice but to do. Dang he looks like he's on his way to the gallows or is about to shoot Ol' Yeller.

    "If your mother is who I think she is, then I knew her. Well maybe not knew but definitely met. A long time ago I met your mother."

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