Xania clung to Derrex as they rode. Her whole body ached and she wanted nothing more than to curl up into a bed and to sleep. But they could not stop. They had to get the supplies and go to Emberhold. She could feel the shadows pulling at her, calling her. The need was stronger than her need for sleep and that scared her.
They pulled into a long dirt driveway. She tightened her grip around him, they couldn’t stop now. They had to go! But he couldn’t hear anything she said over the roar of the motorcycle’s engine.
The bumpy, dirt driveway became little more than a path, but it did lead them up to an old house that sat crouched in a cluster of trees. He pulled up next to the porch and parked the bike.
“We’re here,” he said, once he cut the engine.
She nodded, feeling nauseous and weak. She let him go, but made no move to get off the bike herself. This didn’t seem to bother Derrex. He seemed familiar with the place. Climbing the steps to the porch, he rapped his knuckles along the hand rail as he went. He knocked on the door three times, but didn’t wait for anyone to answer before he stepped inside.
It felt as if ants were crawling on her skin and hornets were buzzing in her stomach. She got off the bike and was able to take a few steps away from it before she vomited. There was nothing there but bile, but that didn’t stop her body from trying. The dry heaves didn’t stop until long after she was sure she had puked up her toes.
“Looks like it was a long ride,” someone behind her said.
She didn’t look at them, just continued to clutch the tree and nodded her head.
“Yeah, you could say that,” she muttered.
“Take this,” it offered.
She looked then, but saw no one.
“Down here,” it said.
She looked down. Standing just behind her was a small fuzzy rodent. In its small paws, it held up a large, pulp red berry. She just stared at it.
“I’m losing my mind,” she said as she rubbed a hand over her face.
“Terribly sorry to hear that. Nothing I can do to fix that. But this will help your stomach,” the rodent said.
She took the berry and laughed. Yup. This is what madness looked like. She looked at the berry only a moment before she shrugged and popped it into her mouth. Might as well. It was firm and bitter, feeling unripe. But she chewed it up and swallowed it anyway. What did it matter? Her little hallucination friend had given her a little hallucination snack. You’d think her brain could at least make it a nice snack. She shrugged again. She was just so tired. Her body sagged.
“Don’t lay there,” the rodent said.
She looked down at the small puddle of vomit.
“Over here,” it said as it scurried away.
Staggering, Xania followed it the short distance into the trees. It led her to a place covered with soft, fragrant ferns. She laid down and was grateful to the little rodent, but wasn’t sure where it had gone to. With a sigh, she closed her eyes and let sleep over take her.
When she woke, Derrex was kneeling next to her, shaking her gently and calling her name. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. The nausea was gone and her body no longer ached. She wished she could thank that little rodent, he had been a nice hallucination.
“What are you doing?” Derrex asked her.
“I was so tired,” she said, still looking around to see if she could catch a glimpse of her friend.
“You scared the shit out of me,” Derrex said with a laugh. “I came back out and you were gone. You didn’t answer when I called. I ran all over this place.”
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“It’s alright,” he said, picking a piece of a fern from her shirt.
“Did you get the things that we need?” she asked as she got to her feet.
“Yeah,” he said.
She looked around her again. The trees seemed to lean towards her and the breeze seemed to be humming a calming tune.
“What is this place?” she asked.
Derrex shrugged.
“They say that Fey used to live here,” he said.
She ran her fingers over the bark of the tree standing next to her. It thrummed beneath her hand, as if it were waking.
“Now, we use it to store supplies and occasionally we hide here,” Derrex said.
Xania walked away from him, moving further into the woods. Derrex followed silently behind her. He didn’t know what was happening, but he could tell by the far away look in her eyes that she wasn’t really here with him anymore.
A river cut through the woods, running down a sharp slope. She followed its winding path leading deeper into the woods. All along the river’s banks towered dark alder. Catkins dangled from the tips of twigs and danced through the air with the breeze. They covered the ground in an orange carpet. The pollen was thick and strongly scented the air. It was warm and humid; the air heavy with the river’s moisture. Her feet sunk slightly into the soil with soft squishing noises as she walked.
Xania paused, uncertain. Glancing around the woods, she rubbed her arms and reassured herself that there was nothing to fear here. But her hair stood on end. There was something in this heavy wet air, almost a tangible thing she could touch. It was then that she saw her little rodent friend again. He popped up from between the roots of a tree and squeaked at her.
The rushing water gurgled by and for a moment seemed to laugh at her. She looked again around the woods. The trees moved with the wind. Birds sang in the distance. Insects droned in a humming buzz. There was nothing amiss here, yet everything felt foreign and distant to her.
Frightened, she stood a long time at the edge of the alder’s ring. A burst of movement and crashing flutter of wings broke through the peace of the wood. Xania ducked and covered her head as she watched the large black birds fly into the sky. She thought they were ravens and couldn’t remember ever seeing so many of them together. The cawing of the birds rained back down on her long after their feathers and the catkins had settled. What had frightened them?
She didn’t want to go into the cluster of alders, but knew that she couldn’t stay here forever. The little rodent scurried up to her and then dashed away into the alders. She walked slowly, watching the trees around her. Dark imaginings of man eating trees flitted through her mind. She pushed them away, frightened enough without childish nightmares to feed the fire.
Derrex continued to follow silently behind her. He could feel the heaviness of the magic in this place and could see how the animals seemed to be trying to guide her. But he didn’t know what any of this meant.
The path leading into the alders was narrow and slowly veered away from the path of the river. She followed the catkin carpeted path through the dark trees, always thinking that she was about to step into the clearing ahead, but was only led through more of the forest. The deeper she went, the less light penetrated the canopy. After a few more steps, she could see large, white mushrooms glowing at the edges of the path. They gave enough light to easily see by.
The path finally led her into a large clearing. At the center of the circle of trees, towered an ancient, leafless alder. In front of the large tree, there was a simple circle cast from acorns. Each nut was stuck into the ground so that only its little hat poked out above the soil. The acorns sat close together, less than an acorn’s width between them, in that perfect and tight circle. The rodent now sat in the center of the circle, looking up at her expectantly.
A gust of wind rushed through the clearing and a chorus of bells rang out. Xania looked about and saw that the alders were adorned with bells. The choir was made from many types and sizes of bells. Some were made of wood and merely clonked, while others were finely crafted of silver and offered a soft tinkling to the wind. It was impossible to separate out the many individual rings and clangs, but together, they sounded like the clamoring of anxious children.
“Hello?” Xania whispered. Her voice was swallowed by the complex sound of the bells. She was sure that she heard laughter in them too.
“You look frightened,” a voice said.
Xania whirled around. Derrex stood a few steps behind her.
“Did you hear that?” she asked.
He shook his head.
“Is someone there?” Xania asked.
The wind was easing back and the bells quieted, only the smaller and lighter ones ringing now.
“You have come to our forest and we would know why,” the voice said.
Xania turned again to face the large tree. It felt as if it were the tree who spoke to her, so she directed her response to it.
“I don’t know why I’m here,” she said, looking back to the little rodent.
“You come to us,” the voice whispered.
“I didn’t know you were here,” she stated.
“Come to us. We have slept for so long,” the voice said.
“What do you want from me?” she asked.
“Help us wake,” it whispered.
The rodent dashed away. Xania didn’t try to follow it. She knew she was where the creature had intended her to come. She didn’t know who these people were, but she felt she could trust them. She felt that she did know them, that they were somehow a part of her. She nodded, no longer afraid. The trunk of the large alder split wide open and brilliant light spilled out over the clearing. A wind poured out of the tree, stirring the bells into chaos and bringing scents of the earth and creative power.
“Come to us,” it whispered.
Xania stepped into the circle of acorns and felt the power of its binding snap around her. She held out her hands to the rush of power that swirled around her within the circle. Seeing then, that the circle of acorns overlapped a larger and deeper circle, she stepped forward into the circle of the tree. As she crossed its boundary she felt the whole of the forest stretch and settle itself around her. She belonged in this place.
She stepped into the trunk of the ancient alder.
With crashing finality, the tree slammed closed. The clearing was still and silent, leaving Derrex behind to wait for her return. He knelt down next to the circle of acorns and a small rodent scurried out from the underbrush. He offered it a bit of his rations. It came up to him fearlessly and took the offered food then settled next to him to munch at it. He was grateful for the company. Petting it gently between the ears, he looked up at the tree and wondered where Xania had gone. He hated that he could not follow her.
Xania knelt inside the comfortable warmth of the tree. Its round walls were smooth and solid around her. Small bulbs of luminescent mushrooms budded out of the walls and shone down on her. Soft catkins cushioned her like a pillow.
“The Life Tree is dying,” it said.
She reached up and laid her hand on the wood. Her skin burned with the tree’s pain. Closing her eyes, she laid her head against the wall. Visions came to her and she let them flood through her.
A man lifted a large seed up in his hand. His grey skin and soft white hair glowed in the gentle light that the seed cast. It was larger than his hand. A Life Seed, he had finally found it. He lifted it up to his face and she could see him clearly now. This was Derrex’s father. So, she was seeing the past then.
The seed was carefully tucked into a strange metal box and locked up so that he could carry it back to his lab. He did not tell the others what he found when he arrived. He wanted to be sure. He went into the clone room and looked at the children that waited there. The original two were in two stasis chambers at the end of the room. He went to them now. He opened the one for the girl. Girl number one. He brought the seed out and its light flashed brilliantly. The girl sat up, still sleeping, but responding to the presence of the seed.
This was it! He was sure of it now. He carefully tucked it back into the box. Girl one laid back down. He closed her lid. Everything could move forward now!
Xania pulled her hand away, not wanting to see. She already knew how this story ended. Dead children all around her. But the visions didn’t stop.
She was shown as Derrex’s father had harvested DNA from the seed. This DNA was put into the children and bound with a small computer. Technology and magic united and then planted into the sleeping children. Girl one had been the first to receive her Life Drive. She was the original girl and the first to become an Aelorian. Xania was only a copy of a girl that was now dead. She had been girl twelve, the last of the girls to receive her Life Drive. They had implanted all the girls before they implanted the boys.
“You must plant the Life Seed,” the voice said.
She saw images of herself pulling a large seed out from her chest and planting it into the ground. In doing so, she began to merge with the tree. Her body bound up and entwined with the wood. Together, her and the seed, grew into a giant, beautiful tree.
Xania laughed. Sure, why not? What did it matter anymore? She had never been anything real. From the beginning she had only been a copy, never a real self. Then that identity had been stolen from her when her sisters had been murdered. Twelve was killed that day too, in a way. She had become Xania. But then the Life Drive woke and that identity was falling apart around her. It had been just as fake as her first identity had been. Maybe, if she planted the Life Seed, she could become something that was real and whole. Maybe she could become something that no one could steal away from her.
Xania rose to her feet and laid her hand on the strong wall of the tree. She felt weak, but knew there was more for her to do.
“It’s not really the tree speaking to me,” she thought.
She ran her hands along the circle of wood surrounding her.
“There is someone else here,” she whispered.
She continued to circle inside the tree, unsure what she was looking for until her fingers felt a groove in the wood. She gently pushed and a section of the wood swung away. Instead of leading her back out into the woods, she found a stairway that led downward. She followed the row of luminescent mushrooms that marked out each step in the darkness. The door closed behind her, but she didn’t look back. The steps spiraled downward and led into a large circular room. She was no longer within the tree. The walls here were carved from the earth itself. Dark soil crumbled from the walls and lay in small piles on the floor. The room smelled of things beginning to grow, but there were no plants.
In the center of the room was a large light blue sphere. She stepped up to it and laid her hands on its gleaming surface.
“It’s you,” she said.
She felt something stir inside the sphere and press itself against the same place her hands lay. She leaned so that her forehead was resting on the sphere between her hands. The surface rippled and colors swirled around. She could feel a heart beating in her palms and could feel a warming of the surface.
"This is a Lesser Tree," it said. "I am its Dryad."
The sphere trembled and shook, but she did not back away.
“I have slept long,” it said.
Between her hands, the sphere cracked. Soft light spilled out from the thin wound. She pressed her fingers into the crack and pulled at the jagged edges. Two large chunks pulled away in her hands, leaving a large whole in the side of the sphere. From within, two large eyes looked at her. They blinked and the soft glow turned dark a moment. Xania reached her hands into the sphere and touched the creature regarding her. It was warm and scaled beneath her fingers.
“We have so much to get done.” It sounded tired.
Xania pulled again at the edges of the sphere, tearing away great chunks. The rippling surface began to crumble at the slightest touch of her hand. Soon, there was only colorful dust in a ring. At the center sat a tired looking dragon. It was white, but its scales occasionally sparkled with another color. Xania knelt before it, taking its long snout between her hands and petting it gently. It laid its head in her lap, leaving the rest of its long body curled and coiled into a strange knotted looking pile.
“What is your name?” Xania asked.
The creature trembled and was silent a long time.
“So many names,” it hissed.
Its body seemed to tighten the knot of itself.
“There was a person once, in an old world, who loved me.”
It closed its eyes and was very still. Even the flashing of its scales dimmed. It lay like that a long time. If not for the warmth of its breath on her hands, she would have believed it had died.
“They called me Ryu.”
“Then so shall I,” Xania whispered.
A gentle rumbling rose from its throat, not unlike the purring of a cat, and Xania knew it was pleased. Ryu raised its head from Xania’s lap and uncoiled itself. It rose up over her and stretched out great wings. White pulsating light surged along its body. The great wings fluttered as if a light wind stirred them. Tiny points of sparkling light swirled across the surface of the wings.
“I am the beginning,” its voice boomed in the small room, but Xania was not afraid.
Waves of energy flowed from the dragon and washed over her. The creative and nurturing force felt as if it could be held in her hands.
“The servant of this Lesser Tree since the time of It’s planting. I am Ryu, daughter of Gaia. I have awoken!”
The energy lashed out, striking the walls around them and surging up through the tree above them. Xania could feel the energy pouring from the tree and through the woods and searching.
“The others must awaken.”
The dragon no longer looked tired.
“You must also awaken,” it said, laying a clawed paw against her cheek.
Xania wished that she could sleep in this place forever, but knew that she couldn’t stay here. Suddenly, the pull of the other Life Drive was strong again, digging deeply into her. She cried out, wrapping her arms around herself in an effort to keep herself whole. But the other Life Drive surged in, giving her memories of the dead boy nine. He had been the boy she had seen shot. He had looked at her through the domes of glass when his life was snuffed.
Nine. He had been another copy, just like her.
“I will wake the other Lesser Trees and summon the Fey to Enaid,” Ryu said.
Xania nodded.
“We will protect the dying Life Tree, but you must awaken and you must plant the Life Seed,” it said.
She nodded again.
She ran her hands over its snout again, then stood. Climbing the stairs was hard, her legs felt heavy and her heart was hollow. She ran her hand along the wall as she climbed, poking the glowing mushrooms as she passed them. This was a place that she would never return to, but it felt like home. The tree cracked open again and she stumbled out into Derrex’s waiting arms.